she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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