Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
