Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
