so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You dont lie about slip and slides
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
