My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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