just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
