Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
