Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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