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i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm sobbing to NWA
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?