remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.