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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)

  (586): View more from Michigan

  It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken

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• (315): View more from New York

  the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (571): View more from Virginia

  Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..

  (703): View more from Virginia

  this can't be going anywhere good

  (571): View more from Virginia

  nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..

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• (619): View more from California

  i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?

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• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (585): View more from New York

  Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Woke up in time for my 8:15

  (518): View more from New York

  Good for you I'm impressed

  (561): View more from Florida

  I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.

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• (818): View more from California

  my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it

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• (646): View more from New York

  Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now

  (646): View more from New York

  Goodbee

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