why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win