Texts From Last Night

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  (682): View more from Texas

  nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise

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  (682): nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise http://tfl.nu/kg9z
  Replies (1) Good night (1352) Bad night (744)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Did you just throw up mid-sentence?

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  (202): Did you just throw up mid-sentence? http://tfl.nu/vo8s
  Replies (2) Good night (1044) Bad night (714)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.

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  (847): Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator. http://tfl.nu/lq0c
  Replies (31) Good night (9003) Bad night (1639)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.

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  (703): the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up. http://tfl.nu/glqa
  Replies (23) Good night (4518) Bad night (1427)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.

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  (202): I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded. http://tfl.nu/owwz
  Replies (30) Good night (5044) Bad night (3959)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.

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  (312): I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/bqr4
  Replies (5) Good night (2184) Bad night (724)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.

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  (724): All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough. http://tfl.nu/tdyq
  Replies (4) Good night (1180) Bad night (1783)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling

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  (781): No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling http://tfl.nu/pro8
  Replies (5) Good night (1461) Bad night (1110)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.

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  (313): its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom. http://tfl.nu/3nbn
  Replies (10) Good night (963) Bad night (1308)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.

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  (605): I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more. http://tfl.nu/w7nf
  Replies (14) Good night (1466) Bad night (948)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.

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  (613): I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone. http://tfl.nu/7z2d
  Replies (4) Good night (1022) Bad night (565)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.

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  (519): And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication. http://tfl.nu/rgq1
  Replies (3) Good night (1095) Bad night (532)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.

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  (541): rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work. http://tfl.nu/d84s
  Replies (3) Good night (794) Bad night (342)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.

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  (701): Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy. http://tfl.nu/ym5a
  Replies (3) Good night (472) Bad night (630)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.

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  (479): But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups. http://tfl.nu/j3mw
  Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (314)

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