Texts From Last Night

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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.

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  (870): I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership. http://tfl.nu/f8ej
  Replies (50) Good night (6491) Bad night (1296) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  : am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?

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  (607): : am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too? http://tfl.nu/kg01
  Replies (36) Good night (5019) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.

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  (253): I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end. http://tfl.nu/6ben
  Replies (9) Good night (3232) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.

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  (508): dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM. http://tfl.nu/7fg3
  Replies (5) Good night (2893) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.

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  (804): Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick. http://tfl.nu/rxn3
  Replies (17) Good night (4252) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck

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  (325): I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck http://tfl.nu/ow44
  Replies (4) Good night (1966) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"

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  (218): you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen" http://tfl.nu/038r
  Replies (8) Good night (2601) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.

  (760): View more from California

  You're High aren't you?

  (858): View more from California

  Sooooo high

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  (858): WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service. (760): You're High aren't you? (858): Sooooo high http://tfl.nu/byvy
  Replies (11) Good night (2954) Bad night (470)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade

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  (954): You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade http://tfl.nu/kpha
  Replies (4) Good night (927) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint

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  (831): You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint http://tfl.nu/ergy
  Replies (5) Good night (1296) Bad night (852) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.

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  (605): Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life. http://tfl.nu/vnig
  Replies (1) Good night (312) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.

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  (832): Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs. http://tfl.nu/d8k3
  Replies (0) Good night (799) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break

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  (248): Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break http://tfl.nu/smjb
  Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (172) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.

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  (225): I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams. http://tfl.nu/g2d9
  Replies (2) Good night (234) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.

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  (802): All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right. http://tfl.nu/z8z5
  Replies (2) Good night (566) Bad night (134)

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