laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
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And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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