Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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