I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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