There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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