I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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