it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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