Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize