I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
operation harelip BJ is a go
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
