I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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