I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
