Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
