am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
