he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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