Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
