i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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