you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
