I love black thongs
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
