you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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