He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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