First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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