I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
third nipple confirmed
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
