if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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