Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just puked most of my soul out..
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
