what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
