I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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