i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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