Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
