So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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