I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
