is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
