is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
