I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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