can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
