Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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