If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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