absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize