i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
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All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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