You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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