I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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