do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
