i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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