Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
