k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
