You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize
