a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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