end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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