I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
