i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
