i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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