Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
