and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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