We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
