he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
