You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
