yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
