We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
