Soap is not a condiment
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
