There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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