this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
