I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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