Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
